meditation

I am currently at a writer’s conference trying to schlock my kid stories to the powers that be. There are so many people here trying to do the same, standing in my way. I thought it would be fun to get to know these way-standers, but then I discovered that their stories are better than mine, they know more than I do, and are generally three miles up the road of a writer’s life from me. Now that I possess these humbling, deflating nuggets of information, I have two more meetings to conduct whereby I try to wow and dazzle the frazzled, over-pitched agents. Hrrrumph.

Pity me. Pray for me.

Yes, yes, yes...this is a potent lesson in the power of choice. I see this. As of now, I am spontaneously, and unconsciously choosing to move through this with fear, loathing, and a touch of what-the-hell. Now that I am conscious of this, how do I change it? Well, what works for me is to affirm what I know to be true. So here goes.. the truths I know right now:

1.) I know that there is enough for everyone, including me.
2.) I know that creativity is infinite, as is abundance.
3.) I know that I am in my perfect place, not ahead or behind. I am exactly where my soul has guided me so that I may learn the highest, greatest good. “Yay, soul. Way to go. Wait, here again? Really? I mean, really? Okay, then... so be it. I guess you want me to do it mindfully this time, eh?”
4.) I know that I have affirmed day in and day out that all is well; therefore, all is well. I have affirmed that all my needs are met; therefore, all my needs are met. I can allow these things to be my truth right now. I choose faith.

So now I go forth, warrior of light, and sometimes not so light. I go forth knowing that I am in my perfect place, regardless of my seeming lack of knowledge, my stories that scream out for edits, and my pie-in-the-sky novice attitude. All perfect. I choose to like myself, my work, my experiences. I choose to feel good about what I have done, where I have come from and where I am going. I choose to love this process.

I’m not shitting you when I say... I feel sooooo much better now. Thank God!

Update: It is now Monday, post-conference. Every agent I met wants me to send them my stories : ) Not bad for a newbie, eh?